“Two are better than one because they have
a good return for their labor. For if
either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is
not another to lift him up. Furthermore,
if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone,
two can resist him. A cord of these
strands is not quickly torn apart.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
These old boots. Dirty.
Dingy. The leather was scuffed up
by countless days of stomping around the ground, being covered with kicked up
clouds of dirt and cut grass. Signs of
wear and tear starting to show. What a
comfortable pair of boots.
I believe everyone can relate to what I am
saying. Now, it may not be a pair of footwear,
but we all have something that is “broken in”, perfect the way it is. Nothing is meant to change about it. It is part of our comfort zone. We like it the way it is, just because. Change is not required. Like an old, tattered blanket it has stood up
through the test of time and still keeps us warm. Why would we want to mess that up? The answer is: there comes a time when that
particular “comfort” no longer applies.
While I am definitely going through the
process of vast changes in my life: relocation to another state (I’ve never
lived anywhere outside of Texas), adjustment to a new house, and more
importantly becoming part of a new family.
As wonderful and exciting as all of that is, there are some things about
the “old pair of boots” that just won’t fit into this new life. What I am referring to is the comfort zone of
how we function, both mentally and psychologically. The willingness to leave behind the life of “being
single” to begin a life of “togetherness.”
It takes a realization that everything that has scuffed and layered upon
those old boots cannot remain. Those
factors may have made those boots comfortable for the wearer, given the circumstances,
but they just won’t last in the new situation.
What do we do then? Do we toss the boots out? Not necessarily. As I spent time, one day last week, cleaning
and re-polishing these boots, I was learning a valuable lesson about myself. I meticulously worked the saddle soap into
the leather, overlapping strokes with the cleaning brush. I observed how the soap and brush began to
sweep away the bits of earth that had obscured the true outer layer of the
leather. I noticed how much difference
there was, the part that was being cleaned versus the untouched surfaces. I was brushing away everything that was
hiding what was underneath. Then, I
applied the polish. Now, the polish wasn’t
to change the surface into something different.
It was merely applied to enhance the original color. The polish hid the scuff marks that worked
their way into the surface. The result:
a restoration of the boots’ natural look.
While still bearing signs of wear, they had that familiar shine, nothing
blocking that from view.
I removed everything that had set the
precedent of those leather creations, creating a clean slate. In looking forward to uniting hearts of a
family, I needed to go back to my “natural form”, not allowing everything that
tended to hide my emotional and psychological self from rising to the surface. Let’s face it: being married and hiding your
true emotions from your spouse…NOT COOL!
As looking to God renews our spirit
(Isaiah 40:31, Romans 12:2), allow your spouse to renew your true nature. Moving forward, you will make new marks upon those
old boots. They will be different from
what covered them before. Also, remember
that you both will need to take time to clean and polish, from time to time. That will help you stay true to yourself and
to your spouse.
