"Therefore, as
the chosen of God, holy and compassionate, put on the clothes of mercifulness,
kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering". Colossians 3:12
How often have you questioned your self-worth? I know I have and I would venture to say that
every person has and more than once.
Hey, we are humans after all. We
have flawed characters. We don’t like to
fail, and we can be our own worst critics.
While we can certainly seek family and friends to confirm our worth, God
wants us to look inside our own hearts and find the truth for ourselves. Life certainly put me in a different-than-normal
circumstance. For medical reasons, I
stay at home; slowly working to build a business. While my wife heads to her office every
morning, I stay home to take care of our baby daughter. I grew up with the “understanding” that the
man, as head of the household, was primarily responsible for making the income;
regardless, if the wife chose to work or not.
So, have I fought my ego and pride over this? You bet I have! I felt that I was failing a big
responsibility and letting down my family in the process. It was a very unhealthy feeling. My wife constantly assured me that there was
no reason for me to feel that way.
Still, I fought it. I did try to
reason with myself the pros of my situation.
However, it didn’t fully hit me until one day, while I was
giving my daughter her mid-morning bottle that she stared deeply into my
eyes. In her eyes, it hit me. She was pulling out that part of me that I needed
to see. She needed me to be home with
her. She relies on me to feed her,
change her, cuddle her, and give her all my affection. I couldn’t do this if I was working. My situation has allowed my wife to continue
a very prosperous career, at something that she is truly passionate about. It has also given me a unique life that most
fathers miss.
I won’t lie and say that it’s easy. Mothers have naturally nurturing instincts
within them. This gives them a huge
advantage taking care of kids, on their own.
I’m behind on the learning curve, so to speak. I wouldn’t change it, though. How much greater will my worth be, gaining
this new understanding and connection that comes with so much time
parenting?
On the flip side, the time away from our daughter is not
easy on my wife. There are gains and
sacrifices on both sides. The both of us
have adjustments to our roles. We make
mistakes. We get stressed. We learn.
Things don’t always turn out exactly the way we plan, the first time we
try them. I’ll admit, my stubbornness tends
to cause more of the issues. I try to
convince myself that I can naturally do the things that my wife’s psyche
already contains. Put it this way: It would be like coming to a point on the
hiking trail that a rock face stands in the way. The two ways to move forward would be to
climb it or go around. What do I tend to
do? “I can climb this. I’ve seen it on T.V. I KNOW I can do this!” That’s the moment when it would be
appropriate for someone to ask, “Are you stupid?” God says “Take the way that you are already
prepared for. The other will come in
time…and practice.” So, the best for me
is to swallow my pride and accept what limits I have, staying open to learning
more.
Does this situation sound familiar to anyone else? If so, let me depart with one final thought. As
James 4:6 says, we need to “...resist the proud and give and be
humble." Only then will our we be
truly successful in every experience we encounter.
